Why I hate Mother’s Day
A post originally shared in 2018 and it still rings true every year….Why I hate mothers day.
I’ve just done a little search through my emails, in the past 24 hours alone I have had emails from the following companies promoting something for Mother’s Day
- Gin club
- Ask Italian
All in just 24 hours just before the ‘big’ commercialised day.
27 Years Ago
My mum died 27 years ago, more than half my lifetime ago. 27 years without the most influential person in my life. 27 years of missed boyfriends, babies, a wedding, a graduation, promotions, awards, the set-up of Mrs Mummypenny. Many years of tears, loss, whys, questions about life, why me, unfairness….
This time of the year is particularly tough, and I am going to admit this even though I am a mum. I hate Mother’s Day. It’s that one day of the year where I just want to crawl into a hole and just hide from the world for a day. It’s a bit like Christmas for me, another time of the year that I really don’t like. After many years of fighting it and pretending to have fun, I am over it. Mother’s Day is not fun.
27 years is a long time to be without someone. There are many more days where I don’t think about my mum than the days I do. I don’t have a panging for advice or for guidance as she has never been there to help me with that.
My mum died when I was 16. Is there a worst age to lose you mum? I am going to put my neck out and say I’m not sure there is a worse age. 16 is such an awful age to lose your mum. At 16 you are not a child or an adult but the moment you lose your mum you sudden become an adult overnight. A super impressionable age where you trying to understand life. Not good to have life ripped away from you.
My mum just died. No preparation, no lengthy sickness. One day she was fine, cooking ham, egg and chips. The next day she was gone. Heart attack at the end of a day that nearly killed her, another heart attack in the middle of night that did kills her, and she was gone. Is it better to prepare yourself for a sudden death or to have it sprung upon you? I’m not sure.
The years have gone by slowly and quickly. Initially it was traumatic, a teenager without her mum is never going to progress well. I was going to write, is never going to end well..but actually I have ended up pretty good. Many years of counselling, advice, great friends have carried me through. I did well with college, university, jobs and setting up my own business. I have my three gorgeous boys.
This damned day – I hate Mother’s day
But every year this damned day comes around and I hate it. The commercialisation, every email cuts like a knife, the senders should realise that their emails to me are inappropriate. Do I want to write about the Mother’s Day range for a supermarket, um no. Do I want to review Mother’s Day flowers for a flower company, again no. Maybe I should reference these companies to this traumatic post, the day my life changed forever.
So yes, despite being a mum and my boys being amazing I would rather not celebrate Mother’s Day. I would rather be left to wallow in my depression and Netflix boxset’s for one day.
How do you cope with Mother’s Day if you have lost your mum?