Why I hate Mother’s Day

Why I hate Mother’s Day

A post originally shared in 2018 and it still rings true every year….Why I hate mothers day.

I’ve just done a little search through my emails, in the past 24 hours alone I have had emails from the following companies promoting something for Mother’s Day

  • Carluccios
  • Gin club
  • Asda
  • Poundstretcher
  • L’occitane
  • Ask Italian
  • Ticketmaster

All in just 24 hours just before the ‘big’ commercialised day.

Why I hate Mother’s Day

27 Years Ago

My mum died 27 years ago, more than half my lifetime ago. 27 years without the most influential person in my life. 27 years of missed boyfriends, babies, a wedding, a graduation, promotions, awards, the set-up of Mrs Mummypenny, a divorce… Many years of tears, loss, whys, questions about life, why me, unfairness.

hate mother's day

This time of the year is particularly tough, and I am going to admit this even though I am a mum. I hate Mother’s Day. It’s that one day of the year where I just want to crawl into a hole and just hide from the world for a day. It’s a bit like Christmas for me, another time of the year that I really don’t like. After many years of fighting it and pretending to have fun, I am over it. Mother’s Day is not fun.

27 years is a long time to be without someone. There are many more days where I don’t think about my mum than the days I do. I don’t have a panging for advice or for guidance as she has never been there to help me with that.

Listen to my Podcast Mrs Mummypenny Talks with Ridley Writes and hear both us share the stories or losing our mums and now being motherless mothers.

Aged 16

My mum died when I was 16. Is there a worst age to lose you mum? I am going to put my neck out and say I’m not sure there is a worse age. 16 is such an awful age to lose your mum. At 16 you are not a child or an adult but the moment you lose your mum you sudden become an adult overnight. A super impressionable age where you trying to understand life. Not good to have life ripped away from you.

My mum just died. No preparation, no lengthy sickness. One day she was fine, cooking ham, egg and chips. The next day she was gone. Heart attack at the end of a day that nearly killed her, another heart attack in the middle of night that did kills her, and she was gone. Is it better to prepare yourself for a sudden death or to have it sprung upon you? I’m not sure.

The years have gone by slowly and quickly. Initially it was traumatic, a teenager without her mum is never going to progress well. I was going to write, is never going to end well..but actually I have ended up pretty good. Many years of counselling, advice, great friends have carried me through. I did well with college, university, jobs and setting up my own business. I have my three gorgeous boys.

This damned day – I hate Mother’s day

But every year this damned day comes around and I hate it. The commercialisation, every email cuts like a knife, the senders should realise that their emails to me are inappropriate. Do I want to write about the Mother’s Day range for a supermarket, um no. Do I want to review Mother’s Day flowers for a flower company, again no. Maybe I should reference these companies to this traumatic post, the day my life changed forever.

So yes, despite being a mum and my boys being amazing I would rather not celebrate Mother’s Day. I would rather be left to wallow in my depression and Netflix binging for one day.

How do you cope with Mother’s Day if you have lost your mum?


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Lynn Beattie

Aka Mrs MummyPenny

Personal Finance Expert

I write about personal finance made simple, lifestyle choices that will save you time and money, as well as products and services that offer great value.

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14 Responses

  1. How I agree with you ! I have felt really depressed all day . I too have had about 20 emails for Mother’s Day meals out from restaurant/ hotels. I lost my mum 17 years ago and I dread all the hype even though I’m a mum myself. Going out on Mother’s Day I hate seeing all family’s with their mums is so hard. But as usual I try put smile on my face for my lovely sons benefit but can’t wait till it’s over with. Your not alone ! Xx

    1. I’ve never managed to get out for a meal on Mothers Day..so with you seeing the happy smiling families. It just feels more and more commercial every damned year…

  2. Totally agree, in similar position, I too lost my mum 26 years ago this year, I was 21. Not easy, never will be, but sadly the commercialism of mother’s day makes it harder. I have a gorgeous 15 year old daughter who does her best to make mother’s day lovely but totally understands and accepts my tears.

    1. Tears are good I have learnt, a great release of the tensions of life and the pain of missing your mum. The pain never heals, just lessons. Much love xx

  3. My Mum died when I was 15 – I’ve been alive longer without her than with her. My hatred for Mother’s Day seems to be lessening, probably helped by my husband and son being super sweet about it and not making a big deal. I do find all the ads etc very galling, like somebody slapping me and reminding me what I don’t have.

    I really feel for you xxx

    1. Ah Rachel..its such a tough age to lose your mum isn’t it. I totally respect that its made me a stronger person and shaped my personality but what would I have been like with a mum still around. TV is ramping up with the ads now:-(((

  4. Luckily I still have my Mum. It was our Dad who died suddenly when we ( myself and siblings) were children. To loose a parent at a young age does have a huge impact. For you to have lost your Mother at such a significant ( teenage years) age and stage in your life. Understandable that it had a huge impact. A Mother is such an important role and relationship ( treasure it). You are a Mother to your sons. Be kind to yourself, you had a sudden tragic loss of a very significant person at a time when you were maturing. As you mention you and your mother lost out in Special times you may have had together ( some people had such experiences with their mothers. Have those memories to Treaure).

    I found that as we had missed out in times with our Dad :- I found it interesting to hear of others speaking of their time and experiences with their Dad. Yet it was difficult to relate to. Glad though that I could listen to their stories, spend time with their families, etc. Friendships can be so fulfilling. Brother, he doubted how he would be as a Dad. Till his son on Fathers Day brought him a gift of what he called ” Sharing Sweets”. He found it touching. I think he realised how much his child / son loved him, and that he was an ok Dad.

    Thank you so much for your honesty. To share feelings and experience can be beneficial . We learn from what we live and experience.

    Best Wishes!

  5. I hate mother’s day. Mum died in 2017 and all I want to do is get drunk in a bar with someone else who doesn’t have a mum; but everyone around me has a mum. I’m so angry about it this year. I’m feeling really **** and mother’s day isn’t until tomorrow.

    1. Totally with you, getting drunk in a bar sounds like a plan. Hope you can do some self care on sunday and try to forget it for a bit xx

  6. I’m sorry for your loss, and to hear how Mother’s Day affects you. I am a mum and a grandmother, and I also hate Mother’s Day, as it reminds me of my mother. She’s been dead many years now, but I still find myself being reminded of her at this time of year. I hate all the trite platitudes that get trotted out every year, telling us all to thank our mothers by spending money on a gift, flowers, a special meal, etc. I wish the people responsible for these insensitive ads would stop to think of the impact on people whose mothers are no longer alive, or who never knew their mothers, or who cut ties with their mothers because their mothers were not the paragons of virtue described in the marketing blurb.

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