The Debt Cycle Returns – I am in £44k of debt

I am 48 years old and have been in debt for most of my adult life. I currently owe a lot, split over various types of debt. It comes to a total of £44k. I also have a mortgage with £280k outstanding. Let’s break it down.

Because it’s not all bad news. Let’s talk good debt and bad debt. The good debt is the mortgage. I own a house, by myself, worth £600k; I have a lot of equity. Good debt is debt to fund an asset that grows in value.

I have a PCP car loan, with monthly payments of £218 for 3 more years left, £8k, and the interest rate was around 4%. The balloon payment is £10k in October 2028, when I can buy the car outright. This is neither good nor bad debt, in my view. I need the car to get my boys to school, rugby, etc and for work. However, it’s an asset that reduces in value over time. I do have a hybrid Toyota Hybrid Cross that is holding its value well, and I negotiated so hard on that car’s purchase price when I bought it (brand new) in 2024.

I next have a Zopa Money Personal Loan with a current redemption amount of £18k, the interest rate is 8.4% and I have 4 ½ years of monthly payments of £400 each month. This was a financial decision I had to make this year to cover a short-term cash flow issue.

Next, I have a small credit card balance with American Express with £3k outstanding at a huge interest rate of 28%. This is a priority debt to clear.

Finally, I owe £5k to a friend, which is 0% debt, and I pay her £670 per month, 7 left to go. This was for a holiday in 2025. This is the debt that I put as priority one, as it’s owed to a friend. And before anyone comments, what the F@@@. 2025 was the last year for a holiday with all my boys and our friends (16 of us). So YES, I got into debt to pay for two weeks in Greece, and to be honest, I have no regrets.

This means that my monthly debt repayments are huge at £1,786 if we assume I’m also paying £500 a month off my Amex card. A very stressful monthly responsibility.

• Amex £500 Priority 2
• Friend Loan £670 Priority 1
• Car Loan £218 Priority 4
• Zopa Loan £400 Priority 3

The Cash Flow Issue

I mentioned a cash flow issue, as I want to highlight that SH!T happens, and you can so easily run out of money. The past 18 months have been tough for my three boys and me; there has been a change in schools and living arrangements. One child was having problems at his school, and I had to make him my priority to resolve the issues, requiring stressful meetings, often twice/three times a week. In addition, all three of my boys, 18, 16,13, now live with me full time rather than 50-50. I do not get any help from the non-working ex, who lives 50 miles away.

The impact of this has been less of a focus on my business, so naturally, income has slipped. My turnover for 2025 is down by 30% compared to its peak in 2022. And this isn’t enough to cover my rising bills.

The cost-of-living crisis has killed me financially, with an extra £1,000 added onto my monthly bills of food, mortgage, energy, council tax, water, etc. Plus, the debt repayments mean my monthly expenses are £5k a month. I need to earn a lot of money after tax to afford to pay these bills.

The only help I can claim is child benefit of £240 per month. I declare too high a dividend from my business for me to receive any other benefits.

Savings and a Fall-Back Plan

More good news, I do have savings and have lots of Q4 work agreed with clients, with so much potential work in the pipeline. I know I am covered for at least five months of expenses, but I still feel an unbelievable amount of stress.

But I’m not prepared to 100% clear any of the debt just yet, as I’m not comfortable that I have enough cash flow to ride any storms or emergencies. It is Q4 after all, with three boys’ birthdays and Christmas to pay for. And I have nobody to fall back on; my parents died 30 years ago, tiny inheritance long gone, and I do not have a partner.

Another very good thing, I have a very decent pension of nearly 200k. But I cannot access this money until I am 57.

Stress and Coping Mechanisms

The stress manifests into insomnia, emotional spending, and excessive exercise. A mixture of healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms, all to do with control. The insomnia is a consequence of the vast amounts of cortisol running through my body and spiking in the night.

I have very much taken control of my body and my health this year. It is absolutely something I can control. The food I eat, the water I drink, and the alcohol and caffeine that I choose not to consume. I exercise a lot, I walk at least 15k steps every day, I play padel or tennis, I run, cycle and do regular yoga classes. The consequence is a 17 kg weight loss, now normal cholesterol, higher platelets and a size 12 body.

Emotional Spending

I am an emotional spender, which makes no sense when I am so stressed about money. Some days or weeks, I have a bury my head in the sand attitude and just think, F@@@ it. It was Josh’s 16^th birthday last week, and I spent £250 on gifts, a padel game and a cookie cake (that was £9 to be fair). I have three boys, so that is £750 I have committed to spend on my children. AND my eldest is 18, so surely, I should be spending more on him? Mum guilt is a real thing.

I also spent £140 last week in M&S because I felt like I deserved a new skirt, top and the Advent Beauty Calendar. The dopamine rush from that purchase only lasts a few hours, then the guilt sets in.

I remember buying a Prada handbag four years ago. The emotional spending made me spend £1,800 on a BRAND-NEW Prada bag. I returned it a week later. I have enough Prada bags from my corporate, more carefree days to use a different one every day of the week.

My Plan of Action

Of course, I have a plan. It’s been in action since I took my head out of the sand in September. I applied for some jobs, but that’s an awful ghosting process. Despite having chats/interviews, I have been ghosted from all three jobs!

I have, at the same time, gone hard on Mrs Mummypenny, which requires SO much work and investment in myself. I am going in 1000% on season 7 of Mrs Mummypenny Talks Podcast, launching the first week of Jan, with the most incredible and famous guests that are SO clever, you will LOVE it. We are back with the Big Questions: A man is not a plan, How to really cope with Perimenopause, and How to cope financially when life trauma and events hit you. All done with a wonderful production company backing me. It is going to be the cat’s whiskers. Each episode will have a sponsor to ensure the money that I need flows into the business.

I am currently writing the second edition of The Money Guide to Transform Your Life and an audiobook. And I have so much exciting work planned or being negotiated. Podcast interview requests are coming in fast, with many magazines, newspaper features as well. Plus, Radio and TV slots. The fourth quarter of 2025 is very golden.

And I’ve renegotiated every bill that I could. My food shop went from Tesco to Aldi, saving £200. I have switched gyms, broadband and mobile phones, saving £100 a month. That’s £300 a month OR £3600 A YEAR.

It will all be fine. I’ll pay off the debt in that priority order. I’ll keep my house for the short term. I only need it until my youngest goes to university/work. Then I can sell up and buy a mortgage-free property by the sea. Freedom.