“For someone of your size, you can run a really good 5k time”. Yes those words were said to me, to my face, by a man I was dating.
A shockingly gaslighty comment from a not very nice man, and it hit me hard. hard enough to walk away, delete and block that man. It’s sat with me for a while, the words sting. I cannot remember a time when I have ever been happy with my weight or body shape and have spent a lot of my life worrying about it and what others think me.
Comments about my weight stick with me. Aged 11 in year 7 of secondary school when two boys in my form told me I was fat, a normal sized 11 year old. Aged 42 being looked at like a piece of dirt by my ex-husband.
This weekend I binge watched Olivia Attwood’s latest documentary series on ITVX, The Price of Perfection and it has really made me appreciate what I do have and like about myself. I urge you to give it a watch, it’s fascinating the things that people want to change about themselves at huge cost financially and that are potentially harmful to themselves.
I have never wanted to or felt the need to do anything to my face. I have 100% looked after it my whole life with a good skincare regime and the occasional facial, but things like fillers, Botox, surgery, no way, not ever.
I am grateful for my face and its freckles with full lips (lucky there I guess), not too wrinkly, yet, no saggy skin yet. I appreciate my beauty and lack of desire to change anything a whole lot more. I never filter pictures, although I do take advantage of good lighting, normally just outdoors. And I wear make up, but rarely wear foundation (unless on TV). Obviously I love a red lip (must stop buying red lipsticks, 15 different shades is excessive.
I love my face.
Boobs and bum
I have big boobs, 34 G, FF if I drop a bit of weight, always goes from the boobs first. And I love them. They are still pertish, with nipples that point out, not down. EVEN after breastfeeding three babies.
My bum is pretty good too, the right sort of shape, toned and round.
My stomach is the bit I dislike and even when thinner it always looks and feels too big. But you know what I’m never going to have a six-pack. I have been pregnant three times, had one c-section and my weight has been as high as 16 stone, as low as 10 1/2 stone. You cannot get a flat stomach after all of that! My tummy has always been a bit fat even when I’ve weighed in at 10 1/2 stone and when I looked like a lolly pop with a head too big for my body. It’s okay, wear a decent pair of knickers and smooth it and out, lovely.
So really going through all my whole body the only bit I have a real issue with is my stomach. This is amazing, I love all the other parts of my body. Do the same, think about what you love.
Vagina and Penis
For Olivia’s last two episodes of the show she focusses on our intimate parts for men and women, Oh my gosh this was an eye opener. All I will say for women here, is that every vagina looks different, and there isn’t a perfect shape, just like belly buttons some of us are in, some of us are out. Child-birth, particularly if you tore or were cut changes the appearance, but it doesn’t impact everyone.
I had a one inch tare with my first birth, and it was left to heal naturally. It’s totally fine, I have spent hours examining, and yes it looks different but not by that much. I love my vagina, vulva and everything else between my legs.
The episode on the penis, men getting their penises extended, widened, made more sensitive, just goes to show that men are just as traumatised by body image and comparisons to what they think is the norm. It’s worth watching for the section on micro-penises. I’ll say no more.
Think about your body and be kind
I have spent my life being so unkind to my body and it is unnecessary. There is so much that I love about it, and everything it has achieved so far in my 46 years. I don’t need a new face, new boobs or a new bum, so I am grateful.